I'll always try my heartest <3

Herpes the Harpy

I shut down, and (shut)up, when life twists and turns me like the poor stomach of Santa's Little Helper in the first Simpson's Christmas episode.

Could stem from an eternal fondness for turtles...but it always made sense that my shell could, and would, protect me from outside permeation of the unwelcomed kind.

And with that I retreat to the inner sanctum of...of...self induced trepanation!

*brain*
^
-inserting large gauged needle here-

Damn this infernal thick skulled head of mine!

To the bathtub it is :P

Sweet Dreams (are made of thee)

I have a great fondness for the term '...happened for a reason' and I can think of no better explanation for everything that occurred this past weekend. In lieu of a review I'd like to insert that very phrase <3

I think this new job is going to be the exact challenge (aside from the stack of encyclopedia sized school books beside me, which I now don't know how I'm ever going to finish...) that I've been in need of for quite some time now.
Oh...and I hope today isn't the last time I get to drive my bosses Audi Quattro!

Love, love, and more ol' love...my brain's not sure of much right now
(the hamster's snoring away belly up in his wheel)
...but my heart never sleeps ;)

You were right...

Partially anyways...

Today might have turned into my previously typical 'Friday'..except that productivity still looms...so there.

I can have my *$&%# and you can eat it too, hah!

I'd like to maintain, and uphold the fact that you still don't know me as well as you think you do though.

Certain things are just a given...
I'm cock-sure (as much as my cock-less self can be) that you'd do it too :P

Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

Then:

wonderer
unfulfilled
desolate
lonely
analogous
empty

Now:

progression
uncertainty
manic (seemingly at times anyways)
passion
bankrupted
different

Infinity and Beyond:

discovery
solace
creation
sanguinity
success
bliss

La Fin!

Liten the Fuck Up...(bitch)

So I suppose this was that 'Terrible Tuesday' you forewarned me about...although I'm not sure...since I felt fine, until someone else was terrible towards me...and that wasn't exactly how you described it :P

Snarkiness aside...

I'm not sure what I did to deserve the hardships I've had this year, but I'd like to know pronto so that I can halt this train before it stops in Cruellaville again.

There are 2 crucial things that I'd like to stay constant in my life (...please?!) :

You
&
High Park (living or being within close proximity to it to be more specific)

That's all...

I'm going to stop here for now.

I have both, and can sleep easily knowing that.

<3

Oh Rexy, You so Sexy!

This poor soul of mine has been squeezed, squished, and squashed quite repeatedly as of late.
Not sure that I'd sell it (my condolences to you, Satan), although I'd probably consider buying another one...for good measure...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
30 minute Guitar Hero 2 break
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woah...
I have now been rendered incapable of thought (more so then usual), and my vision is whacked out.
Is it common to see things moving fluidly...inanimate objects, that aren't supposed to er...move...after playing that game?

Whatever, I'm going back for more :)

Screw you raisins!
I'm getting high off of guitar plastic fumes from now on :P

Booyakashah

Jungle style...

REEEWIIIND!

Had a fun family weekend (family in-law, kinda sorta, anyways...*blush*) in the boonies of beautiful Northern Ontario in which we celebrated Kyle's grandpas 80th birthday. Thoroughly enjoyed getting to chill with the immediate family (Gillian especially <3), and ending on the basement couch vaporized out of our minds watching Metalocalypse was pure bliss.

This week has thus far been quite hectic, but productive, motivating, and well...awesome :D

Details to follow in:

3
...
2
..
1
.

Um...soon enough, heh :P

Vapours Not Papers

^
True story ;)

And speaking of stories...
I think I'm going to write up a little one for you.
"Forbidden Friends"
?
Cheesy...but also true, heh :P

hpstrdchbg

Last night was weird.

I was initially in a really good party mood, but you weren't, and we definitely didn't jive.

I'm well aware that there were numerous factors at play, but it was still just...meh :P

<--- bleh...still zapped from lack of sleep I'm sure though.

I can be so easily triggered into such serious apatheticness sometimes. Hopefully it'll snap once I get out of the office...I think I'm just so used to having Friday's off.

Thrush-day

I'm super excited about the interview I have scheduled for Tuesday morning, and the new potential opportunities it may bring!
:)

Not quite so excited about telling my current employers I quit (if they do decide to offer me this position).
:\

I know I have it good here, I won't deny that.
It's an easy job, I get free food by the bushel, I'm encouraged to be funky, and I get to play awesome tunes all day long.

Unfortunately, I need quite a bit more to survive, monetarily anyways...
This new company sounds like they might have the means to provide said dollah dollah billz yo...

All those creditors trying so desperately to track me down for the past year are going to be quite pleasantly surprised that 1) I'm not dead...and...wait for it...
2) I'M PAYING MY BILLS AGAIN!
heh
:P

In other news...happy happy, joy joy!

Overdraft

What a difference a day (or late night I suppose) can make!

I'm still just as screwed as I was then, but jimeny cricket I don't feel quite so bad about it now. Hopefully, a short trip to Mississauga will remedy the major issue at hand.
*fingers crossed*

Our imaginations are too powerful, we have to watch them carefully when negativity abounds cutie :P

So very happy that we've both made the leap towards new employment. I've always loved change, and it's definitely overdue for both of us in this arena.

I fell in love with you...yet again...a few times over, truth be told.
*blush*
<3

Cunninglinguist, perhaps?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cuz every day is humpday (or should be)...sorry Wednesday!

Now that I think about it, there was something I wanted to get off of my chest...

I don't think I'm capable of not having sex with you any longer then 1 day
(and sometimes not even that long, hehehe).

*blush*

I'm already going crazy...and I think it's been less then 48 hours.
I should have set the alarm earlier this morning, damnit!

I just remembered why it hit me so hard all of a sudden...I had something planned for you this morning, but then zonked out, and didn't get to make it happen..come back soon please ;)

Adieu

I don't want to write anything here while depression has itself tightly wound around each cell of my brain.

I'll be back when happiness prevails :)

...promise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***appendage***

If I'm not easily accessed, I have not run away (you sillyhead)...and I repeat "I HAVE NOT RUN AWAY!".
I just get very lonerific in times of depression, and tend to shut off most of the living world in an attempt to lessen any further blows being thrown my way (or yours).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serenity Now!

I'm quite tempted to stick my head into a hole ostrich style today.
:P

I know I told you that I'm not going to run away (I'm not!)...but I won't deny that it seems illogical to stay here.
I mean...technically, there are so many non-Toronto avenues that I could pursue. Since my diploma program is through distance education I could easily just take everything with me.

Kind of afraid I might get swallowed up and eaten alive by this city sometimes.
*yikes & egad*

Really hoping that a nice chilly walk home through the muddy park this evening will ground me (literally and figuratively, hah).

...

Awww shucks, we both know my short term memory is um...short, heh.
Unfortunately...even though I've wanted to write here, I've been unable to. Hopefully my wireless connection is back up and running tonight once I get home though.

Wish we didn't have to go through the individualized pain that we did this past weekend...but I still believe everything happens for a reason...and whatever doesn't kill us will only make us stronger...right?

Very sorry that you had to see my cry like I did yesterday. It was a lot of pain to have to deal with in one day.
It ended with smiles though, thank you.

Trying not to be fragile today...things in my life just seem to keep getting harder and harder.

Sad to say, but that TTC pass was the only real personal asset I've consistently had for the past couple months. It's hard to grasp that I don't even have that freedom now.

I know it must be worrisome to see me in states like this, but I'll be fine...promise :)
I want to say that things could always be worse...but I REALLY don't have a single luxury to afford having that phrase come true! lol

Here I go, here I go...here I go again...

Enough talk about being self-sufficient...the old adage "actions speak louder then words" couldn't be truer.

I'm done with talking about how insanely broke I am. I'm going to change that part of my life (hopefully sooner than later), and I'm not going to gripe about it any more.

As much as I know I need your help sometimes, I'm super reluctant (if not down right adamantly against it) to ever take it because I know you regret dishing out a good amount monetarily/materially in a past relationship. I'll be darned if something like that ever gets thrown in my face :P

I just got too comfortable where I was...I'm no longer there...and well...to be honest...my mom threw me out at 14..I threw myself out at 25.
I've learned A LOT in that past decade.

Time to put it to good use :)

Red Alert

-Health is everything to me-
(I just have to remember to keep mine in check sometimes.)

Talked to my mom for a good while today since she called to let me know that her and Dennis arrived safely in Florida the other day.
Apparently everyone in my family has been going through hardships these past couple months :(
Told her that my financial situation is dire (even more so then usual), but I'm healthy...I know that's what matters most to her. Got the usual "If we win the lottery all of your bills will be paid..." spiel.
Love her dearly, but she really depresses me like crazy sometimes.

Lots more to write...but I'm just not feeling as coherent as I'd like to be to express myself properly.

My hormones have spiked into the red danger zone (alas)...and I could see why women were thought to be perpetually crazy only a century or so ago.