Cheers

Really glad that I got to leave work early today, and now don't have to return for another 3 days.

I know I need time to sit, reflect, and work...on ME!

Things are going quite well in my life, and I'm generally happy now, but I still have so incredibly far to go so that I can get where I want to be...

Pretty excited to not be crying my eyes out and sleeping through New Years this year (like last year), but I kind of wish we could have been able to set up an alternative to what we have planned, since I'm not crazy keen on doing the
'19+ raver thing', heh :P

Ever since a few recent events I've been kinda crushed personally on certain levels...but it's all c'est la vie sorta stuff I guess, so I really should, and will, move on.

Albeit slightly muted...for now.

Love always,

Mutt
<3

I.O.U.

-words here-

Soon!

<3
me

Flux Capacitating

I've never been particular to living in the past...Buddhist scripture I read years ago just seemed so right about how easily negativity can reemerge from this very act.

I now have such vivid pictures etched into my head about the future (which I always wanted, but wasn't able to procure previously), that I couldn't look back if I tried!

My nick 'buttahflye' truly came to fruition this year though...and it felt great shedding those thick layers cocooning me from being able to stretch these wings :P

I'm so incredibly in love with life and everything it encompasses again <3
T'was *not* a good time when this wasn't the case, but I wouldn't be who I am without the help of both good and bad...er...evil, sexy, fun...and a whole whack of other choice adjectives too I suppose, heh.

As wondrous as the simple things in life that catch my eyes/ears/nose/mouth are...I marvel over the true motivating factor spinning the constant electronic beat that is my heart...you.

*melts*

We might not have much in the way of financial assistance towards this ever approaching holiday season...but we'll have every other day of years to come...AND
...an awesome randomly selected anniversary date to plan for celebrating year WON!

Don't Stop Believing (remix Sunday) - Sharon's Journey

*best read karaoke style (therefore sung) to the original track riffs*
**air guitar optional, but highly recommended**
***http://www.myspace.com/journey (play track #2!)***

Just a suburb girl
Livin' in a lonely park world
She took the midnight (subway) train
Goin' anywhere
Just a beaches boy
Born and raised in Scarborough
He took the midnight (subway) train
Goin' anywhere

A dj in a sweaty room
The smell of beer and cheap Axe perfume
For a song they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers smoking
Up and down the alleyway
Their shadows dancing
In the nights
Streetlights, hipsters
Livin' just to find irony
Drinkin', somewhere in the night

Workin' hard to pay my bills
Everybody needs some thrills
Doin' anything to keep my job
Just one more week
Some will rock
Some will suck
Some we’ll just concede to luck
Oh, this movie (life of ours) never ends <3
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers smoking
Up and down the alleyway
Their shadows dancing
In the night
Streetlights, hipsters
Livin' just to find irony
Drinkin', somewhere in the night

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlights, hipsters
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlights, hipsters

The SG Annual Report - 2007

This years annual report shall be released prior to the actual year end for all intensive purposes.
It is no indication of where SG will go in the coming year, nor is it a true indication of where SG has been this year. It simply highlights, and low lights a few past events (of major significance) that took place in the past 11 1/2 months of SG.

Q1:

2007 started with a surprise separation in which SG became a solo entity for the first time in close to a decade. SG entered back into the market as a highly sought after commodity.

Alas, attempt at new partnership did not weigh out evenly, and SG struck its first losses due to one way satisfaction.

Q2:

A necessary location change was made which put SG closer into the city. This move allowed further growth, but also hindered total funds, as the cost to maintain daily necessities was now much higher than SG earnings.
A close ally (KG) came forward with a proposition that SG could not turn down.
Meetings ensued allowing KG and SG the properties imperative to a now inevitable company merge.

Q3:

As tumultuous as the market was directly surrounding KG & SG, this quarter saw tremendous growth from within (KG enacted slight downsizing, but this was mandated prior to merging, and completed successfully under partnership surveillance from SG). The two companies now forged ahead into the final quarter stronger then ever before singularly.

Q4:

SG achieved new funding bringing the company above red line status in the nick of time prior to year end.
KG also made solid goals, and has already shown a rapid stream of accomplishments that will align and subsidize all future company endeavours.

In conclusion, 2008 promises to be another year of astronomical change and growth.
The solidified base that KG & SG now have exiting Q4 2007 in the form of 'KEGGES' vows to be one of magnificent proportion, and is likely to never be seen in the market ever again.

Sissy Admin

Ahhh MAN!

So, apparently my new laptop is METAL as all hell...

I *finally* take it home for the first time, turn it on, try to check my email, and...

NOTHING

...stupid wireless crapability...mumble, grumble, argh, blargh...











You just wait...wall of fire...just wait.

WORK IT!

Not trying to come down on myself or anything, but this 'Dear Diary' thing just doesn't come naturally to me :P

It's only been about a year and a half since I started journaling anything at all...to which I owe *you* greatly ;)

So yah...bare with me if my thoughts get little jumbled or happen to be neglected entirely on certain days...
Coupled with the fact that I could now work an almost 10 hour shift straight through, never once thinking a single thought about myself since I'm so entirely immersed in helping others...well...you get the idea.

Speaking of work, which I'm pretty sure that's why I started this entry in the first place prior to the rant-tastic intro above, heh.

I love it.

It's not easy (love). I get to learn completely unrelated new things every day (love). I have the power and resources to help people to do exactly what they want and need in life (love). I have an amazing team behind me that lavishes success (love). I now have my own laptop again (love).

<3

Oh man...I could keep going!

Not sure what it is...but when I'm happy (and truly so) everyone directly around me seems to benefit, in some way shape or form, tremendously.
...but I'm only ever truly happy when the people around me are happy...

So am I in the pursuit of happiness, or is it pursuing me?!?!?

lol

She'll be coming 'round the mountain...

I really have no where to go but up from here...

and,

well...

Who amongst us doesn't enjoy a good high?

The word 'high' itself, has been, and always will be, one of my absolute favourite words...in every single sense no less :)

And guess what cutie?

It never occurred to me that I needed a partner to climb those treacherous mountains I attempted in the past.
Come to think of it...
The last person that I thought was spotting me through the difficult turns...WAS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!!

I'm ready now though.

Lift me up
Take me higher
Lift me up to a higher love

<3

Are We There Yet?

You obviously couldn't sleep since I awoke from a nightmare just before 7am to an empty bed...and snoring couch :\
I hope you get an above average settlement from the tooth fairy for having to put up with that wise old bitch in the back of your mouth!

Never thought that there'd be a weekend day off that I couldn't wait to end, but yesterday sure proved that wrong...
Good fucking riddance to you suicidal Saturday :P

I see the light (now)...and unlike that tunnel vision of many before me...mines coming from the window perch in the form of precipitated crystalline water frozen into ice particles...

aka

SNOW!

I'll always try my heartest <3

Herpes the Harpy

I shut down, and (shut)up, when life twists and turns me like the poor stomach of Santa's Little Helper in the first Simpson's Christmas episode.

Could stem from an eternal fondness for turtles...but it always made sense that my shell could, and would, protect me from outside permeation of the unwelcomed kind.

And with that I retreat to the inner sanctum of...of...self induced trepanation!

*brain*
^
-inserting large gauged needle here-

Damn this infernal thick skulled head of mine!

To the bathtub it is :P

Sweet Dreams (are made of thee)

I have a great fondness for the term '...happened for a reason' and I can think of no better explanation for everything that occurred this past weekend. In lieu of a review I'd like to insert that very phrase <3

I think this new job is going to be the exact challenge (aside from the stack of encyclopedia sized school books beside me, which I now don't know how I'm ever going to finish...) that I've been in need of for quite some time now.
Oh...and I hope today isn't the last time I get to drive my bosses Audi Quattro!

Love, love, and more ol' love...my brain's not sure of much right now
(the hamster's snoring away belly up in his wheel)
...but my heart never sleeps ;)

You were right...

Partially anyways...

Today might have turned into my previously typical 'Friday'..except that productivity still looms...so there.

I can have my *$&%# and you can eat it too, hah!

I'd like to maintain, and uphold the fact that you still don't know me as well as you think you do though.

Certain things are just a given...
I'm cock-sure (as much as my cock-less self can be) that you'd do it too :P

Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

Then:

wonderer
unfulfilled
desolate
lonely
analogous
empty

Now:

progression
uncertainty
manic (seemingly at times anyways)
passion
bankrupted
different

Infinity and Beyond:

discovery
solace
creation
sanguinity
success
bliss

La Fin!

Liten the Fuck Up...(bitch)

So I suppose this was that 'Terrible Tuesday' you forewarned me about...although I'm not sure...since I felt fine, until someone else was terrible towards me...and that wasn't exactly how you described it :P

Snarkiness aside...

I'm not sure what I did to deserve the hardships I've had this year, but I'd like to know pronto so that I can halt this train before it stops in Cruellaville again.

There are 2 crucial things that I'd like to stay constant in my life (...please?!) :

You
&
High Park (living or being within close proximity to it to be more specific)

That's all...

I'm going to stop here for now.

I have both, and can sleep easily knowing that.

<3

Oh Rexy, You so Sexy!

This poor soul of mine has been squeezed, squished, and squashed quite repeatedly as of late.
Not sure that I'd sell it (my condolences to you, Satan), although I'd probably consider buying another one...for good measure...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
30 minute Guitar Hero 2 break
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woah...
I have now been rendered incapable of thought (more so then usual), and my vision is whacked out.
Is it common to see things moving fluidly...inanimate objects, that aren't supposed to er...move...after playing that game?

Whatever, I'm going back for more :)

Screw you raisins!
I'm getting high off of guitar plastic fumes from now on :P

Booyakashah

Jungle style...

REEEWIIIND!

Had a fun family weekend (family in-law, kinda sorta, anyways...*blush*) in the boonies of beautiful Northern Ontario in which we celebrated Kyle's grandpas 80th birthday. Thoroughly enjoyed getting to chill with the immediate family (Gillian especially <3), and ending on the basement couch vaporized out of our minds watching Metalocalypse was pure bliss.

This week has thus far been quite hectic, but productive, motivating, and well...awesome :D

Details to follow in:

3
...
2
..
1
.

Um...soon enough, heh :P

Vapours Not Papers

^
True story ;)

And speaking of stories...
I think I'm going to write up a little one for you.
"Forbidden Friends"
?
Cheesy...but also true, heh :P

hpstrdchbg

Last night was weird.

I was initially in a really good party mood, but you weren't, and we definitely didn't jive.

I'm well aware that there were numerous factors at play, but it was still just...meh :P

<--- bleh...still zapped from lack of sleep I'm sure though.

I can be so easily triggered into such serious apatheticness sometimes. Hopefully it'll snap once I get out of the office...I think I'm just so used to having Friday's off.

Thrush-day

I'm super excited about the interview I have scheduled for Tuesday morning, and the new potential opportunities it may bring!
:)

Not quite so excited about telling my current employers I quit (if they do decide to offer me this position).
:\

I know I have it good here, I won't deny that.
It's an easy job, I get free food by the bushel, I'm encouraged to be funky, and I get to play awesome tunes all day long.

Unfortunately, I need quite a bit more to survive, monetarily anyways...
This new company sounds like they might have the means to provide said dollah dollah billz yo...

All those creditors trying so desperately to track me down for the past year are going to be quite pleasantly surprised that 1) I'm not dead...and...wait for it...
2) I'M PAYING MY BILLS AGAIN!
heh
:P

In other news...happy happy, joy joy!

Overdraft

What a difference a day (or late night I suppose) can make!

I'm still just as screwed as I was then, but jimeny cricket I don't feel quite so bad about it now. Hopefully, a short trip to Mississauga will remedy the major issue at hand.
*fingers crossed*

Our imaginations are too powerful, we have to watch them carefully when negativity abounds cutie :P

So very happy that we've both made the leap towards new employment. I've always loved change, and it's definitely overdue for both of us in this arena.

I fell in love with you...yet again...a few times over, truth be told.
*blush*
<3

Cunninglinguist, perhaps?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cuz every day is humpday (or should be)...sorry Wednesday!

Now that I think about it, there was something I wanted to get off of my chest...

I don't think I'm capable of not having sex with you any longer then 1 day
(and sometimes not even that long, hehehe).

*blush*

I'm already going crazy...and I think it's been less then 48 hours.
I should have set the alarm earlier this morning, damnit!

I just remembered why it hit me so hard all of a sudden...I had something planned for you this morning, but then zonked out, and didn't get to make it happen..come back soon please ;)

Adieu

I don't want to write anything here while depression has itself tightly wound around each cell of my brain.

I'll be back when happiness prevails :)

...promise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***appendage***

If I'm not easily accessed, I have not run away (you sillyhead)...and I repeat "I HAVE NOT RUN AWAY!".
I just get very lonerific in times of depression, and tend to shut off most of the living world in an attempt to lessen any further blows being thrown my way (or yours).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Serenity Now!

I'm quite tempted to stick my head into a hole ostrich style today.
:P

I know I told you that I'm not going to run away (I'm not!)...but I won't deny that it seems illogical to stay here.
I mean...technically, there are so many non-Toronto avenues that I could pursue. Since my diploma program is through distance education I could easily just take everything with me.

Kind of afraid I might get swallowed up and eaten alive by this city sometimes.
*yikes & egad*

Really hoping that a nice chilly walk home through the muddy park this evening will ground me (literally and figuratively, hah).

...

Awww shucks, we both know my short term memory is um...short, heh.
Unfortunately...even though I've wanted to write here, I've been unable to. Hopefully my wireless connection is back up and running tonight once I get home though.

Wish we didn't have to go through the individualized pain that we did this past weekend...but I still believe everything happens for a reason...and whatever doesn't kill us will only make us stronger...right?

Very sorry that you had to see my cry like I did yesterday. It was a lot of pain to have to deal with in one day.
It ended with smiles though, thank you.

Trying not to be fragile today...things in my life just seem to keep getting harder and harder.

Sad to say, but that TTC pass was the only real personal asset I've consistently had for the past couple months. It's hard to grasp that I don't even have that freedom now.

I know it must be worrisome to see me in states like this, but I'll be fine...promise :)
I want to say that things could always be worse...but I REALLY don't have a single luxury to afford having that phrase come true! lol

Here I go, here I go...here I go again...

Enough talk about being self-sufficient...the old adage "actions speak louder then words" couldn't be truer.

I'm done with talking about how insanely broke I am. I'm going to change that part of my life (hopefully sooner than later), and I'm not going to gripe about it any more.

As much as I know I need your help sometimes, I'm super reluctant (if not down right adamantly against it) to ever take it because I know you regret dishing out a good amount monetarily/materially in a past relationship. I'll be darned if something like that ever gets thrown in my face :P

I just got too comfortable where I was...I'm no longer there...and well...to be honest...my mom threw me out at 14..I threw myself out at 25.
I've learned A LOT in that past decade.

Time to put it to good use :)

Red Alert

-Health is everything to me-
(I just have to remember to keep mine in check sometimes.)

Talked to my mom for a good while today since she called to let me know that her and Dennis arrived safely in Florida the other day.
Apparently everyone in my family has been going through hardships these past couple months :(
Told her that my financial situation is dire (even more so then usual), but I'm healthy...I know that's what matters most to her. Got the usual "If we win the lottery all of your bills will be paid..." spiel.
Love her dearly, but she really depresses me like crazy sometimes.

Lots more to write...but I'm just not feeling as coherent as I'd like to be to express myself properly.

My hormones have spiked into the red danger zone (alas)...and I could see why women were thought to be perpetually crazy only a century or so ago.

The Quiet Night That Ended LOUD (in more ways than one) ;)

Didn't accomplish exactly what I hoped to last night...but I'm not worried since I know I can get everything up to date tonight.

Things really do always work out for us, huh.

Poor 'Kismet', alas...
R.I.P
We'll honour thy midnight sky beauty rightfully this weekend <3

I feel so Jetsons-like even just thinking about this new non-smoking technology we're about to embark on!

I can't stop conduring back the images of us in that candle light last night...
...oh my...sooo NSFW...

Think Happy Thoughts

I accidentally put myself into a funky funk (not the groovy one)last night, perusing potential new job positions.
At a quick glance it appears to be nearly impossible to achieve the lifestyle I'd like to while studying full time, and living alone, in a beautiful safe Toronto neighbourhood.

This feeling is far from new, as I've experienced it many times since separating rashly without much thought to how things would pan out this past December.

It can be hard not to dwell on the fact that I sometimes think I was pushed into adult living a good decade before my time.
I've forgiven my mom for kicking me out at the very tender age of 14, but I still live and feel the repercussions from time to time.

I could go on further...and would...but I'm at work, and rich people need me so that they don't starve, heh.

If two negatives make a positive...do hundreds of negatives make...um...a confident?
...cuz I'm already starting to feel a bit better :)

Quickie

This weekend became a hazy blur this morning, once you quizzed me on what exactly we did - lol

It was ultimately VERY comfortable, through and through...final answer <3

We could have gone to any number of parties, but then I wouldn't have been able to have the custom Worms rope lesson that I did ;)

You made my day (as always :P) in many ways today.
One being that I now know that we have this Friday and Sunday off together!

*ESPLODES*

Hippie Stank

Might be time to purchase some sort of new essential oil based perfumey type thing...

As much as I love this cold weather we've finally seasoned into. I also like being nice and warm while immersed in it.
I was given a space heater for my office last year since it's always either too cold (too hot in the summer) in here.
Turned it on not too long ago to get the temperature up in here...and it now smells like Mary-Jane...but not the red-headed Superman version...all up in this wee green box :P

Revelations

O.k. they might not be brand new or anything...but I had some substantial revelations this year that I'd like to internet blog capsulize.

Unfortunately unlike other branded/and or religious holidays we don't celebrate 'I'm Smrt Day'...although we should...
*strokes chin thoughtfully*

I just wanted to go on record regarding a few things anyways (partner oriented), so here it goes...

1) I'm not incapable of communication in a relationship. In fact, I'm fairly good at it.

2) I'm a very sexual person. I have the sex drive of...of...a horny toad? (are they perpetually horny too?)...I want it and need it, at least once a day, please.

There's more...but those two things were the largest and reddest of the 99 luft balloons floating around in my head on the way home through High Park this evening. I can't believe I was told, and thought, otherwise, for so VERY long.

I'm forever grateful knowing that I have *you* to thank for this.

Money, money, money, money...$MONEY$

I love how everything always works out so perfectly between us
(even when it's not entirely apparent while it's happening).
Very glad we stayed in last night, since I wouldn't have been half as happy today if we went out as originally planned :)

I'm now feeling that urge to party again though...

I've been unable to stop thinking about the Make it Funky Halloween party tonight.
I had SO much fun at the one they had last year, and the line up for this year is even better (despite the dreary location).
I just can't fathom spending $30 per ticket + much more, since I really don't have extra cash like that to spend...

It's hard enough having to go without the little silly things in life that make me happy...

I know I really shouldn't complain though, so I'll stop now, since I still have an amazing (albeit cheap *not poor*) life <3

The blackest day of the week.

Been wanting to write in here all day...but I'm finally now just in a position to (kinda sorta) do so...*squinty red eyed yawn*
It's just a little almost dark out...it's still good...it's still good!

Threw a load of laundry in to demolish the metal day of 'NOTHING'...mind you it's an almost entirely black load, hehehe.

I miss your bed...wonder if it misses me?

I'd like to say that I'm completely sexed out for the day...but I know as soon as I see you, that just won't be the case (I really should leave you a voicemail message one day while I'm...well...you know *blush*).

I'm already getting riled up just writing this :P

Going to work on the other box of love for now instead...so bad I know...but lol

Some things just ain't...

You'd look so hot in this...
*droools*

http://www.threadless.com/product/748/If_It_Ain_t_Metal

Thursday...Finally!

I love where I live, but the bus route I need to take for the most part is horrendous at the best of times...this morning for example...argh.

I did a fair amount of homework last night. Should have started earlier then I did though, since it ended up going quite late into the night. It's hard stuff...but I've never really accomplished anything substantial thus far in life, and there's no way I'm giving up on this course.

Definitely apprehensive about it, as my short-term memory is almost non-existent, and there are an infinite amount of really long, confusing mumbo jumbo type names to memorize...but I'm smart...there's no reason not to succeed.
^
self pep-talk :P

Feeling kinda iffy about this weekend. We procrastinated the Halloween costume crawl, and the big day is now just a few days away...
As much as I want to party this weekend away, this year I think I'd almost rather just indulge in the more traditional fun surrounding this spooky fall weekend, like pumpkin carving!
No one said we can't have both though ;)

Tonight though, I need to chill with you, and tunes.

Higher Ground

*Transcribed via yellow sticky notes written on in the park

Made it!

I probably deserve the overly-friendly muddy puppy paw prints I now have on my recently cleaned jeans. Just one of the dirty dangers of walking through the massive High Park off leash zone home :P

Comfortably sitting in my favourite picnic spot on top of the greenhouse hill...I just realized I've never taken anyone here but you...and I can't wait to bring you back!

*puff* *puff* *puff*

Aaahhh...the perfect chill little roach buzz...and Dj Medley :)

Which just now kicked into "I'm horn-nay...I'm HORNAY!" - lol

...reminds me of how very much I am for you...all the time.

I always dreampt (and knew) that my perfect man would lick me, and love it, as much as humanly possible (you are human, right?).

*End of transcription

Pretty sure I just sat there and gazed at the amazing sunset going on directly in front of me through the trees thinking really naughty thoughts about you at that point ;)

Time for homework now though...I'm determined to study on a regular basis for the first time...ever.

It's actually pretty easy being green <3

Even though things aren't where I want them to be (story of my life, hah) *yet*... I know without a doubt that they're on the right track...FINALLY! It's going to be a challenge, but I need to get my schedule on track so that I can very capably work full time (albeit probably in two part time jobs) & study full time - there's no matter of 'should' - as I 'AM' going to dedicate 2 hours a day, at least 5 days a week to learning everything I can related to holistic nutrition. Luckily I have the greatest support ever now...oh so very very VERY luckily I might add...and I now we're going to motivate each other continuously towards each and every endeavour that we ascribe to. Looking forward...to moving forward <3